“Trilogy – Power. Precision. Versatility”

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
Maya Angelou

Imagine a small airport terminal at 3:00 AM. There was a silent, somewhat eerie calm to the visit to the radiation area today as I explored where I will go over the next six weeks to receive a daily dose of radiation therapy to my brain. The machine, called the “Trilogy,” sounding and looking like something from The Matrix, will be the delivery device for the radiation. I will lie down, be locked in place and be covered with what I call my “Nacho Libre” mesh Wrestler Mask (well, that’s better than Hannibal Lecter, who also came to mind)

It was a long, wearisome day made all the better by the fact that I continue to marvel at, and am grateful for, the care and kindness received from every individual I encounter at Dartmouth-Hitchcock and The Norris Cotton Cancer Center. I don’t know what President Weinstein is putting in the employee water coolers, but the people of DHMC seem to be well-aware that they are in an industry where people matter and need to be treated humanely in an environment, which by its very nature, can often feel inhumane. Blood drawn to check CBC counts and liver function as per protocol after participating in the 5-ALA clinical trial. Re-checking the set up for ensuing radiation therapy. Stitches out. Review of situation, recommendation of continued use of anti-seizure meds until EEG is conducted to ascertain any seizure activity, (yes the damned cancer is still serious, rare, and data sparse but my immediate outcome post-op quite strong) confirmation of pathology report, agreement to participate in another trial, this time a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical trial using the drug Nuvigil:

“The purpose of this study is to determine if Nuvigil® improves fatigue experienced by people receiving external beam radiation therapy for the treatment of malignant gliomas. It is also being done to determine if Nuvigil® improves cognitive function (perception, thinking, reasoning, and remembering) and overall quality of life in people receiving external beam radiation therapy for the treatment of malignant gliomas. Another purpose of this study is to see if people who receive Nuvigil® have more or less side effects than people who receive placebo. Placebo is a substance that looks like an active drug but has no active ingredient.”

We shall see…I’m a placebo junkie, as long as they are locally grown, organic, healthy, range free, grass-fed and gluten-free…

“Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?

and now a video interlude reflecting my current state… aptly titled Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim…love Walken…


About moosevt

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4 Responses to “Trilogy – Power. Precision. Versatility”

  1. moosevt says:

    i think 20-30 mins for 6 weeks, 5 days a week…time to crawl inside myself…maybe listen to Cocteau Twins or Brian Eno!

  2. Vicki says:

    I’m gonna go out and buy you some fava beans and a nice chianti right NOW! I am not buying the Nacho Libre thing….and I am keeping close watch on my liver! WHOA! Makes me have to do the shake just thinking about you in that machine. How long do you have to be radiated each time? For my Dad it was quick…..

  3. Nina Ryder Lynn says:

    Yes, Mark. Your words are changing people’s selfish outlooks on life….you are a gift. Nina

  4. Jaja says:

    The visual of you lying with that mask on has unearthed me. I will stop my whining, stop my complaining about my mundane minutia and will face my days with my big girl panties on. Thank you for posting this, god how we get caught up in our own little worlds and lose sight of the bigger picture. Mark, as I have said before, you are a gift.

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